Imprinting 101
by xMeredy
Summary: When Embry asks about imprinting, Claire spouts BS, Jacob calls Nessie fat, and Seth gives his insights on life.
1. Imprinting 101

**Imprinting 101**  
In which Embry asks about imprinting, Claire spouts BS, and Seth gives insight on love. Slightly OOC. Oneshot.

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"I didn't realize La Push was a daycare," I commented. My two best friends were sprawled on the floor, playing peek-a-boo with their imprintees. At least, that's what Claire and Quil seemed to be doing. Jacob and Nessie just kind of stared at each other and smiled giddily as if they were high on something (each other, I suppose). I guess that had to do with that weird reverse mind-reading power of hers.

"Oh. Hi Embry," Quil said distractedly, as if he just realized I was there.

I didn't take it to heart. On a normal day, I could've probably danced naked in front of them and they wouldn't have noticed. Though we've seen each other naked so many times they'd probably think I was phasing.

As happy as I was for my friends that they found their soul mates, I still felt so out of the loop. Sam had Emily, Jared had Kim, Paul had Rachel, Quil had Claire, Jacob had Ness, Leah had herself… even the vampires had their significant others. I just had… me.

Collin and Brady and Seth don't count. They haven't even gone through werewolf puberty yet, much less regular old puberty. Sure, they grew pretty bulky after they transformed – but it was clear they weren't nearly as big as the rest of us.

"Hey guys," I said.

No answer.

"Guys," I repeated.

Nada.

"Dead babies."

I received twin punches on both my arms. Jacob socked my left and Quil had pounded my right. Then they started screeching at me in Quileute so quickly at the same time I could hardly catch what they were saying. Although I had the gist: OH EM GEE, how in the world could you say that? Are you heartless? I expected better from you! Blah, blah, blah…

"Guys," I interrupted. "What's it like to imprint?"

They grinned at me, and I didn't like it.

"Embry, Embry, Embry," Quil said, patting my shoulder. He sighed, then said to himself, "They all grow up so fast."

"Stop that," I said, shrugging away from him. I looked over at Jacob for help, who was tapping his chin deep in thought.

"Well," he began. I knew Quil wasn't exactly the best person to ask advice from, so I looked hopefully at Jacob for answers. "It's not like love at first sight, really. It's more like… gravity moves. When you see her, sudden-"

"Sounds like a load of bullshit," I said.

"It's not bullshit!" Jacob said defensively.

Quil gasped, aghast. He quickly covered Claire's ears. "Language, boys!"

"What? You Claire's mommy?" Jacob snorted.

Quil shot him a look. "Aren't you worried about what bad habits Nessie might pick up?"

"Nessie is mature," Jacob retorted.

"She was born after Claire!"

"She grows twice as fast!"

"Did you just call her fat?"

"You called me fat?"

"What! No! I would never…"

"Boolsheet!" I heard baby Claire gurgle. Quil gasped, then glared angrily at the two of us.

"Now look at what you did!" Quil moaned.

"It's an easy fix," Nessie chirped. "Just start saying 'blue sheet' and she'll readapt." Jacob beamed at Nessie proudly.

"That's my girl!" he said, ruffling her hair fondly.

I sighed. Maybe I wasn't missing anything… I wandered out of the living room and stumbled into Emily's kitchen. When in doubt, food would always comfort me. Maybe I should just imprint on Emily's fried chicken. It would never disappoint me.

"Hey Embry," Emily greeted cheerfully from behind the stove. "Hungry?"

I nodded briefly, and she fixed me a plate of food. I plopped down next to Seth at the kitchen table who was working on his own plate. He paused for a second before looking up at me.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, worried. I had to hand it to him. The kid was pretty observant.

"I was just talking to Quil and Jacob about…" I paused. "Imprinting."

"Ah," he said. I felt slightly strange discussing this with someone younger than me, but hey. Why not?

"I feel like there's something wrong with me," I said. "That I can't…imprint. I mean. It feels like something is wrong with my DNA or something… or maybe I'm not nearly as cool as Jacob or Quil or everyone else…or maybe…"

Seth shook his head.

"That has nothing to do with imprinting."

"I don't believe you," I said as Emily set down a plate of macaroni and cheese in front of me.

"Oh really. You sound like every other teenager," he said.

"Like you aren't one?" I asked. He ignored my comment and continued.

"Or really, any other human. If you see that someone else has something that makes them happy, you wonder if it would do the same for you. So if you're worried about your DNA, then you're perfectly fine. You're just like any other teen. When the time comes for you to imprint, it will. You've just got to be patient."

I mulled over his words for a moment, then smiled. "Thanks Seth. You know, I would've never thought you'd say something insightful like that. You were much more helpful than Quil and Jacob."

"No problem," he said, beaming innocently. I smiled even wider as I picked up my fork and began to eat.

Suddenly the door busted open, and a beautiful, curvy, blonde-haired girl walked in. She flipped her long hair behind her back as she said, "Hey Seth babe. You ready?"

"Sure thing honey," he replied as he started towards the door.

"Who's that?" I asked, confused.

Seth smiled. "My imprintee," he replied as he disappeared through the door.

I dropped my fork.

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	2. Numbers

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight. Nope, nope.

**Numbers.**  
Kim's always been good at math, but not so much with guys.

I guess you may have noticed by now that this is not a continuation of the previous story. And that is because I've decided to change this into a collection of short imprint tales. I want to thank everyone who read the first story though, so: thank you, thank you!

I wrote this short fic to illustrate a different kind of Kim/Jared imprint story start. It's common to see Kim as the stuttery, nervous introvert - but I also wanted to show that there's more to her than that (her math skills for instance. -snort-)

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_1460_ I wrote on the top of my history notes.

_365 x 4 = 1460_. I scrawled under it.

_365 days x 4 years + leap day = 1461 days I've spent crushing on Jared._

I read over what'd I written for a couple moments… before I furiously scribbled the numbers out with my pencil. Paranoia swept through me, and I had a strange feeling that somebody was watching me. How embarrassing it would be if someone actually caught me writing something like this.

I dared myself to look up and almost shrieked. Someone _was_ watching me. And if it weren't for the fact I was used to being quiet, I probably _would_ have shrieked. Who wouldn't when Jared – as in crush, hot, crush Jared – was staring at you like… like…

"You're the most beautiful thing on Earth," he whispered as he rested his head on his hand dreamily.

Yes. Exactly like that.

As if…

WHAT!

I fought back the blush that was creeping up my cheeks, but he seemed to notice. He smiled to himself, almost smugly, victoriously. He scooted his chair closer to me.

_Jared. Jared. Jared._

His name was on replay in my head. On loop, one thousand four hundred and sixty one times…

_Jared. Jared. Jared._

"Hey," he said.

"H-hi," I stammered. He smiled even wider, and I was sure I was a tomato red by now.

_Jared. Jared. Jared._

He's talking to me. Jared's talking to me.

After one thousand for hundred and sixty one days... Jared's talking to me.

"So," he said. What's your name?"

And the butterflies in my stomach froze. He didn't know my name? Even though… I glanced back at my history notes, just barely making out the numbers I had written there minutes ago.

_One thousand four hundred and sixty one…_

One thousand four hundred and sixty one days. It would've taken just one to learn my name. One day to remember it, even if he would never use it. Out of one thousand four hundred and sixty one days, he had never looked at me. Not even once.

_One thousand four hundred and sixty one… One thousand four hundred and sixty one… One thousand four hundred and sixty one…_

I looked back at him, matching his smirk and not caring how childish I was about to sound.

"Not telling you."

"No?" he asked, confused.

"Nope. Not yet. But maybe in another one thousand four hundred and sixty one."


End file.
